New journal because I feel almost embarrassed by that last one.

Yes, I do go on dA to rant if I need to (god knows I have nobody else to really go to), but I really do feel bad if it's up there for a long time. I hate to seem 'emo' or whatever, like I can't get my life together. I can...it's just hard.

So anyway I spoke to a few people about what's been going on and we all agree that what i'm feeling is most likely an extreme form of loneliness, which I have been diagnosed with in the past. Stupid, I know, but it happens.

Really all I need to do to fix this is to find people to hang out with. That's hard enough as is, since I have to do college things and find a job and start driver's ed and take the SATs and ACT (never agreed to this >.>. So i'm relatively booked. Thankfully, I have both MSN and yahoo to hold me over.

Besides this, I realized that I still had lost motivation, and if anything realized that my drive to play video games (except my N64 emulator for some reason) does not cross my mind anymore. In fear that my love of drawings will cease, I have been in fact forcing myself to draw. It's been a good try, and i've produced a few interesting drawings.

But other than that there is no real change in my life. Most interesting would probably that my independent study class was a mix-up in the schedule; i'm supposed to have it next semester and have creative writing then instead. So i've been going to creative writing, and actually wrote a short story for once. People have said it's my absolute best, which is pretty cool.

But yea..'tis really it. Umm..I have a pain in my left eye that won't go away and it feels like someone punched me in the face (it hurts to shut my eye, too). Hoping that will go away by tomorrow.


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